The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.
Samuel Butler

ANGRY MOB

We read the papers everyday


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Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:08
Comprehensive school: An expensive baby-sitting service for yobs. Offers classes in such subjects as becoming a teen mum, turning gay and communism. Minimal teaching of the Three R's. Three R's: Reading, Royalty and Right-wing politics. Core skills which are no longer taught to schoolchildren thanks to the looney liberal PC thought Police. Cosmetic surgery: a) Invasive medical techniques used to make hard-working women look twenty years younger. b) Invasive medical techniques used to make celebrities look awful. c) What footballer-chasing whores get done so they have big chests. Jade Goody: Pre-2008) Living embodiment of all that is wrong with Stalin McBroon's Britain. Queen of chavs who made money through being stupid and whose dysfunctional family showed in graphic detail why we need to cut benefits NOW. Post-2008) Tragic role-model for millions. Her adoring manner and beatific smile cheered the whole nation while she fought light a tiger against the evil of cancer. A working-class version of Princess Di, minus the bulimia and neuroses.
 
This is a comment on "The Daily Mail Dictionary"
 
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